This is the translation of an article I published in August 2015 after I heard something strange on the French radio (Europe 1): two teenagers had been arrested the day before for cemetery degradations in Lorraine and now claimed to be “Goths” [1]. Amongst the accusations held against them there was knocking down crosses and carving “666”, the number of the Beast, on several tombs. I couldn’t stay silent. My first reaction was to cry out “This is nonsense! These teenagers are no Goths but Satanists!* Both concepts have nothing to do with each other, damn it!” And for starters, if Goths often wear crosses, wearing them upside-down has a meaning only for Satanists.
* And they are mainly teenagers…
I’m sure some of you are now wondering on which grounds I’m taking the liberty to ascertain such a thing; well I’m just basing my thinking on my long experience as… a Goth! This time of my life, which started from my teenage years (13-14 years old) and lasted almost ten years, enabled me meeting a bunch of people who aligned themselves with diverse identities: amongst them there were several Goths and a Satanist! In these teenage years, to be or to become a Goth (or even to be born as a Goth as I was telling my parents) is above all else a way to define one’s cultural and spiritual identity; adopting a different clothing shows a desire to get free from the codes inherited from our family and from society in general, and for Satanists, distorting the meaning of holy symbols is a provocation, not only towards men, but also towards God himself (for those who do believe in Him)!
When I was a teenager, there was a clear difference between Goths and Satanists. Whereas many Goths claimed to be unbeliever or irreligious, Satanists worshiped the Devil – more in talking than in actions to be honest – using symbols inherited from the religious or esoteric folklore: crosses upside-down, pentagrams, numerology etc. This “cult” consisted in theory – there is a subtlety here – in mimicking or mocking the religious celebrations. For instance holy water was replaced with stagnating water, prayers were recited from the end to the beginning (remember the controversy on rock & roll vinyl records playing backwards in the 60’s), there was a human or animal sacrifice, the altar was used for sexual or immoral activities etc.: the Christian mass had become a black mass. [2]
A short digression before carrying on: black masses have always been an incredible source of phantasms and rumors, especially for young people. They talk a lot indeed about it but you’re more likely to have lunch with Nessy* than to attend an actual black mass with them. The oldest stories (available) on this subject were written during the 13th century. However many additional rumors started to spread in the next century due to the doings of Gilles de Rais [3] – who by the way fought with Joan of Arc – who was such a cruel man he became a source of inspiration for the Bluebeard character in one of C. Perrault folk tales. Gilles de Rais was sentenced to death and executed for having held orgies and black masses, during which he sometimes raped and assassinated children in honor of Satan; children bones were discovered, buried in his castle yard. Other facts may have accounted for his condemnation: in-natural acts (sodomy) and alchemy, which at that time were considered as demoniac habits and liable to death on the stake. Well if we can agree Gilles de Rais was surely a mad person impregnated by violence and debauchery, I highly doubt there are many evidences that black masses as described above have really occurred until today.
*Nessy: one of the nicknames of the Loch Ness monster.
So when I was a teenager, being a Satanist was limited to wearing the cross upside-down, reciting catholic prayers from the end, (trying to) invoke demons with candle and pentagrams drawn on the floor (with a piece of chalk borrowed from the classroom), and yelling against God or the Roman Church. All those who pretended to have witnessed or taken part in black masses proved to be liars, a bit like those who pretended that it really was a sardine that once plugged the entrance of the harbor in Marseille! Their so-called black masses were in fact spiritualist meetings, more or less interesting by the way. One day though I was invited to participate to a black mass; of course I said yes, out of curiosity merely. When I arrived there, I discovered that not only it was a matter of performing several invocations but that in addition they were all counting on me to take the lead, stand in the center of the circle and recite ritual formulas (I never knew any, I’m not a fan of horror movies). Because I was a Goth I should take “all the risks”. And of course at the end of the séance, they were awaiting me to send back the demon in an appropriate manner so that it would never come back (just in case it’d like to come back and tickle the feet of the innocent people during their sleep, come on!). I don’t believe in spirits, and neither did I as a teenager. So I asked “but why should we send it back? Wouldn’t it be more fun to let it wander around (like a lost soul!!)? Are you afraid or what?” From the looks on their faces, yes, they were afraid, some of them embarrassed and some others skeptical. Wahou, this surely was a group of fearful Satanists when it came to evil spirits… in other words they were impostors!
A few years later, around twenty, I met a man who defined himself as a Satanist, and one of my male characters is clearly inspired by him. Honestly, nothing in his behavior showed any violence or illegality; we studied together, we had parties together, we laughed together at obtuse monitors who forced us to drop off all nails and rings before entering class, we talked music, literature and cinema at lunch time while eating big sandwiches. It seems harmless doesn’t it, but what am I saying: maybe he was playing his cards close to his chest? Or maybe I had met the only specimen of peace & love Satanist?
As far as I’m concerned, I decidedly was a Goth. Alright, when I say it like that it doesn’t make much sense, as there are as many types of Goths than subcategories related to Rock at the mall (you know, you’re absolutely sure your favorite metal band is in the “metal” section, you look for ages in vain then you ask for it and the salesman redirects you with a loud sigh and a pitiful smile to the “alternative rock” section). Each Goth may claim to be inspired by something special: pin-ups, lolitas (famous in Asia), Romantics, vinyle & latex, bones/nails/chains, vampires, sorceresses, decadent aristocrats and so on… Regarding their favorite colors, if black is the reference, some mix it with white, purple (color of the cult in numerous traditions, and merely associated with magic), red (as a reminder of blood or other red items), pink (lolitas) etc. In addition, the ordinary mortal have a tendency to add to the Goth category all people with a non-ordinary clothing, like heavy metal fans, punks etc. It’s quite impossible then to give a definition of Goth by looking at the clothes and it’s best because being a Goth isn’t just a matter of clothing and music. Anyone who inquires a bit into this phenomenon will usually find people deeply rooted in literature and spirituality (although a small part of them considers the dress code as all of it).
Being Goth, I got closer to some idealists, to people who love poetry (especially the Romantics), dark literature, many songs I wouldn’t dare categorize, lace and velvet, satin gloves, old hats, long shining hair, widows veils, the moon, stained-glass windows, candle and dust, spiders or crosses as pendants, long walks in the cemeteries, melancholy and spleen… I dressed in black and dark red, I kept my skin reasonably white (that’s not difficult), and to match the clothes I used black mascara, black khôl and dark red gloss. And of course I wore black nail polish! I wasn’t more eccentric than that because I judged quite severely people who just try too hard and become caricatures. My favorite books – which I’m heartily recommending you – were at that time part of dark novel or Gothic novel [4], but also poetry: Charles Baudelaire (Flowers of Evil, Paris Spleen), Edgar Allan Poe ((New) Tales of Mystery and Imagination), Mary Shelley (Frankenstein), Bram Stoker (Dracula), Charles Robert Maturin (Melmoth), Matthew Gregory Lewis (The Monk), and the more recent author Ann Rice (The Vampire Chronicles). As for cinema, I just can’t help noticing the Tim Burton masterpieces [5], like Sweeney Todd, Edward Cissorhands, Alice in Wonderland, Corpse Bride, etc.). Being since childhood of a lonely nature, I felt good in an environment where people run into each other but don’t regularly see another, where each of us creates his own codes and displays of him only what he wants to. Well there’s no need to get your knickers in a twist and in fact my father had since the beginning understood that: as soon as he was convinced I wasn’t falling into a sect, he declared to my mother I was just one of these people who loved to read poetry, talk about death and go for walks in cemeteries, dressed in black.
No doubt that in the coming days, part of the public opinion will take up the cause against the young people who, instead of going skin-heads or punks, have decided to draw attention on them by wearing lace, leather and nails. Danger is real here! Don’t forget that the one and only way for someone to become accomplished and enhance his creativity is to go through a standardization process (first of all by eliminating all genders); everyone knows in addition that a person who doesn’t follow all the rules is destined for a dark future, filled with terrible decisions and endless misfortune. However I’m grateful for the Goth phase I went through with enthusiasm and profoundness because at an age where it’s difficult to assert oneself, this environment contributed to forge my identity, and to identify and express my believes (and I’m still holding to them today).
To conclude, I leave you with a definition, personal but shared with several older Goths: the "Gogoth". A Gogoth is a strange creature, easily led and influenced. His sense of belonging to the Goth community depends on how many symbols he's wearing on his clothes or on the backpack. The Gogoth can usually be seen in the surroundings of middle schools or high schools, and it seems that some of them have been observed attending University. The Gogoth is easily identifiable because he usually gets around with his group of friends, all of them wearing New Rocks and headphones. Don't bother trying to speak to him! The Gogoth isn't a bad guy, he's just a bit immature and he'll prefer staying with his friends than talk to you.
As a summary the Gogoth is a poor imitation, a genuine caricature of the Goth with whom on the contrary you can have real conversations!
* And they are mainly teenagers…
I’m sure some of you are now wondering on which grounds I’m taking the liberty to ascertain such a thing; well I’m just basing my thinking on my long experience as… a Goth! This time of my life, which started from my teenage years (13-14 years old) and lasted almost ten years, enabled me meeting a bunch of people who aligned themselves with diverse identities: amongst them there were several Goths and a Satanist! In these teenage years, to be or to become a Goth (or even to be born as a Goth as I was telling my parents) is above all else a way to define one’s cultural and spiritual identity; adopting a different clothing shows a desire to get free from the codes inherited from our family and from society in general, and for Satanists, distorting the meaning of holy symbols is a provocation, not only towards men, but also towards God himself (for those who do believe in Him)!
When I was a teenager, there was a clear difference between Goths and Satanists. Whereas many Goths claimed to be unbeliever or irreligious, Satanists worshiped the Devil – more in talking than in actions to be honest – using symbols inherited from the religious or esoteric folklore: crosses upside-down, pentagrams, numerology etc. This “cult” consisted in theory – there is a subtlety here – in mimicking or mocking the religious celebrations. For instance holy water was replaced with stagnating water, prayers were recited from the end to the beginning (remember the controversy on rock & roll vinyl records playing backwards in the 60’s), there was a human or animal sacrifice, the altar was used for sexual or immoral activities etc.: the Christian mass had become a black mass. [2]
A short digression before carrying on: black masses have always been an incredible source of phantasms and rumors, especially for young people. They talk a lot indeed about it but you’re more likely to have lunch with Nessy* than to attend an actual black mass with them. The oldest stories (available) on this subject were written during the 13th century. However many additional rumors started to spread in the next century due to the doings of Gilles de Rais [3] – who by the way fought with Joan of Arc – who was such a cruel man he became a source of inspiration for the Bluebeard character in one of C. Perrault folk tales. Gilles de Rais was sentenced to death and executed for having held orgies and black masses, during which he sometimes raped and assassinated children in honor of Satan; children bones were discovered, buried in his castle yard. Other facts may have accounted for his condemnation: in-natural acts (sodomy) and alchemy, which at that time were considered as demoniac habits and liable to death on the stake. Well if we can agree Gilles de Rais was surely a mad person impregnated by violence and debauchery, I highly doubt there are many evidences that black masses as described above have really occurred until today.
*Nessy: one of the nicknames of the Loch Ness monster.
So when I was a teenager, being a Satanist was limited to wearing the cross upside-down, reciting catholic prayers from the end, (trying to) invoke demons with candle and pentagrams drawn on the floor (with a piece of chalk borrowed from the classroom), and yelling against God or the Roman Church. All those who pretended to have witnessed or taken part in black masses proved to be liars, a bit like those who pretended that it really was a sardine that once plugged the entrance of the harbor in Marseille! Their so-called black masses were in fact spiritualist meetings, more or less interesting by the way. One day though I was invited to participate to a black mass; of course I said yes, out of curiosity merely. When I arrived there, I discovered that not only it was a matter of performing several invocations but that in addition they were all counting on me to take the lead, stand in the center of the circle and recite ritual formulas (I never knew any, I’m not a fan of horror movies). Because I was a Goth I should take “all the risks”. And of course at the end of the séance, they were awaiting me to send back the demon in an appropriate manner so that it would never come back (just in case it’d like to come back and tickle the feet of the innocent people during their sleep, come on!). I don’t believe in spirits, and neither did I as a teenager. So I asked “but why should we send it back? Wouldn’t it be more fun to let it wander around (like a lost soul!!)? Are you afraid or what?” From the looks on their faces, yes, they were afraid, some of them embarrassed and some others skeptical. Wahou, this surely was a group of fearful Satanists when it came to evil spirits… in other words they were impostors!
A few years later, around twenty, I met a man who defined himself as a Satanist, and one of my male characters is clearly inspired by him. Honestly, nothing in his behavior showed any violence or illegality; we studied together, we had parties together, we laughed together at obtuse monitors who forced us to drop off all nails and rings before entering class, we talked music, literature and cinema at lunch time while eating big sandwiches. It seems harmless doesn’t it, but what am I saying: maybe he was playing his cards close to his chest? Or maybe I had met the only specimen of peace & love Satanist?
As far as I’m concerned, I decidedly was a Goth. Alright, when I say it like that it doesn’t make much sense, as there are as many types of Goths than subcategories related to Rock at the mall (you know, you’re absolutely sure your favorite metal band is in the “metal” section, you look for ages in vain then you ask for it and the salesman redirects you with a loud sigh and a pitiful smile to the “alternative rock” section). Each Goth may claim to be inspired by something special: pin-ups, lolitas (famous in Asia), Romantics, vinyle & latex, bones/nails/chains, vampires, sorceresses, decadent aristocrats and so on… Regarding their favorite colors, if black is the reference, some mix it with white, purple (color of the cult in numerous traditions, and merely associated with magic), red (as a reminder of blood or other red items), pink (lolitas) etc. In addition, the ordinary mortal have a tendency to add to the Goth category all people with a non-ordinary clothing, like heavy metal fans, punks etc. It’s quite impossible then to give a definition of Goth by looking at the clothes and it’s best because being a Goth isn’t just a matter of clothing and music. Anyone who inquires a bit into this phenomenon will usually find people deeply rooted in literature and spirituality (although a small part of them considers the dress code as all of it).
Being Goth, I got closer to some idealists, to people who love poetry (especially the Romantics), dark literature, many songs I wouldn’t dare categorize, lace and velvet, satin gloves, old hats, long shining hair, widows veils, the moon, stained-glass windows, candle and dust, spiders or crosses as pendants, long walks in the cemeteries, melancholy and spleen… I dressed in black and dark red, I kept my skin reasonably white (that’s not difficult), and to match the clothes I used black mascara, black khôl and dark red gloss. And of course I wore black nail polish! I wasn’t more eccentric than that because I judged quite severely people who just try too hard and become caricatures. My favorite books – which I’m heartily recommending you – were at that time part of dark novel or Gothic novel [4], but also poetry: Charles Baudelaire (Flowers of Evil, Paris Spleen), Edgar Allan Poe ((New) Tales of Mystery and Imagination), Mary Shelley (Frankenstein), Bram Stoker (Dracula), Charles Robert Maturin (Melmoth), Matthew Gregory Lewis (The Monk), and the more recent author Ann Rice (The Vampire Chronicles). As for cinema, I just can’t help noticing the Tim Burton masterpieces [5], like Sweeney Todd, Edward Cissorhands, Alice in Wonderland, Corpse Bride, etc.). Being since childhood of a lonely nature, I felt good in an environment where people run into each other but don’t regularly see another, where each of us creates his own codes and displays of him only what he wants to. Well there’s no need to get your knickers in a twist and in fact my father had since the beginning understood that: as soon as he was convinced I wasn’t falling into a sect, he declared to my mother I was just one of these people who loved to read poetry, talk about death and go for walks in cemeteries, dressed in black.
No doubt that in the coming days, part of the public opinion will take up the cause against the young people who, instead of going skin-heads or punks, have decided to draw attention on them by wearing lace, leather and nails. Danger is real here! Don’t forget that the one and only way for someone to become accomplished and enhance his creativity is to go through a standardization process (first of all by eliminating all genders); everyone knows in addition that a person who doesn’t follow all the rules is destined for a dark future, filled with terrible decisions and endless misfortune. However I’m grateful for the Goth phase I went through with enthusiasm and profoundness because at an age where it’s difficult to assert oneself, this environment contributed to forge my identity, and to identify and express my believes (and I’m still holding to them today).
To conclude, I leave you with a definition, personal but shared with several older Goths: the "Gogoth". A Gogoth is a strange creature, easily led and influenced. His sense of belonging to the Goth community depends on how many symbols he's wearing on his clothes or on the backpack. The Gogoth can usually be seen in the surroundings of middle schools or high schools, and it seems that some of them have been observed attending University. The Gogoth is easily identifiable because he usually gets around with his group of friends, all of them wearing New Rocks and headphones. Don't bother trying to speak to him! The Gogoth isn't a bad guy, he's just a bit immature and he'll prefer staying with his friends than talk to you.
As a summary the Gogoth is a poor imitation, a genuine caricature of the Goth with whom on the contrary you can have real conversations!
