Parfois, je me surprends à rêver que ma piscine propose des créneaux horaires réservés aux femmes. Par conviction religieuse ? Non. Politique ? Non plus. C'est tout simplement que, nageant plusieurs fois par semaines, j'en ai assez de me retrouver régulièrement face à des bulldozers qui dégomment tout ceux qui se trouvent sur leur passage, et de rentrer chez moi avec des bleus... La piscine est grande, aussi chaque niveau de pratique devrait-il y trouver sa place ; néanmoins les opposés s'attirent, et je remarque la propension de certains crawleurs rapides - les palmes, coupelles & tubas - à rejoindre systématiquement le couloir où l'on nage... la brasse !! J'ignore ce qui motive leur choix : veulent-ils nous en mettre plein la vue en nous doublant à chaque longueur ? Ou est-ce la satisfaction de se mesurer à des gens plus lents qui s'exprime ? Si j'étais mauvaise langue, je dirais qu'ils attendent que l'on ait assez de boire la tasse à chaque dépassement et que l'on change de couloir... et malheureusement c'est aussi l'avis des maîtres nageurs.
Sometimes, I find myself dreaming that one day my public swimming pool will adopt special opening hours for women. Why? It's not a religious matter. It's not a political statement either. It's just that I usually go swimming two to three times a week and I'm starting to be tired of being bulldozed by my lane co-swimmers. For Heaven's sake, the swimming pool is large enough, and everyone should be able to swim at his pace, slow of fast; however as sure as opposites attract each other, I noticed the propensity of fast crawl adepts (you know, those coming with flippers, snorkel and many barbarian training tools) to systematically join the slow lane... the place where we do breaststroke!! I honestly don't understand their logic: do they want to impress us each time they cross or overtake? Or does part of their motivation originates in the satisfaction of confronting slow swimmers? A vicious tongue (not me!) would certainly claim they're waiting for us to get tired of drowning at each length and change lane... and alas several lifeguards do share my opinion!
Sometimes, I find myself dreaming that one day my public swimming pool will adopt special opening hours for women. Why? It's not a religious matter. It's not a political statement either. It's just that I usually go swimming two to three times a week and I'm starting to be tired of being bulldozed by my lane co-swimmers. For Heaven's sake, the swimming pool is large enough, and everyone should be able to swim at his pace, slow of fast; however as sure as opposites attract each other, I noticed the propensity of fast crawl adepts (you know, those coming with flippers, snorkel and many barbarian training tools) to systematically join the slow lane... the place where we do breaststroke!! I honestly don't understand their logic: do they want to impress us each time they cross or overtake? Or does part of their motivation originates in the satisfaction of confronting slow swimmers? A vicious tongue (not me!) would certainly claim they're waiting for us to get tired of drowning at each length and change lane... and alas several lifeguards do share my opinion!
Il y aurait des avantages collatéraux à adopter des créneaux piscine réservés aux femmes : les dames de l'aquagym seraient ravies, et puis surtout, cela éviterait de se poser la question du burkini...... J'y viens : on en a beaucoup parlé cet été, beaucoup beaucoup BEAUCOUP trop à mon goût car ce sujet ne méritait franchement pas un tel vacarme. Je comprends bien qu'il ne se passe pas grand chose pendant les grandes vacances, aussi la presse a-t-elle plus de mal à trouver des sujets susceptibles d'alimenter le "buzz" (restons polis), mais tout de même, lancer une polémique sur le burkini, c'était sournois. Cela dit, ce fut l'occasion pour moi de tendre l'oreille et de découvrir les motivations réelles de certains amis ou collègues.
I'm sure there would be some benefit to propose special opening hours at the swimming pool: the ladies from the aquagym would surely enjoy having their space and, above all, it would put an end of the burkini drama........ Last summer, burkinis were all over the news, again and again and again....... until we got fed up. Much ado about nothing if you ask me. I'm perfectly aware of the lack of fresh news during summer vacations, and of course it must be difficult for the scandal avid magazines to find new polemics to keep the buzz going. I totally get that, but getting the burkini out of the closet was really a low blow. Nevertheless I gave me an opportunity to listen to the conversations around me and expose the real motivations of several friends and colleagues.
I'm sure there would be some benefit to propose special opening hours at the swimming pool: the ladies from the aquagym would surely enjoy having their space and, above all, it would put an end of the burkini drama........ Last summer, burkinis were all over the news, again and again and again....... until we got fed up. Much ado about nothing if you ask me. I'm perfectly aware of the lack of fresh news during summer vacations, and of course it must be difficult for the scandal avid magazines to find new polemics to keep the buzz going. I totally get that, but getting the burkini out of the closet was really a low blow. Nevertheless I gave me an opportunity to listen to the conversations around me and expose the real motivations of several friends and colleagues.
Au travail ou dans la rue, j'ai surtout entendu des hommes commenter les événements, certains affirmant même que le burkini serait le symbole de l'oppression des femmes tandis que la mini jupe était incontestablement le symbole de leur libération. Pour être franche, ma réflexion sur le sujet s'est stoppée net à ce moment-là, parce que quand on s'habille court et que dans la rue on a droit à des remarques ou des sifflets, j'ai du mal à appeler ça une véritable libération. A moins de considérer que les sifflets sont une marque d'admiration et de respect mais là-dessus, les opinions divergent.
At work or on the street, I heard men mostly commenting on the burkini topic, especially when it came to claim that burkini was a symbol of women's oppression... whereas mini skirt was the symbol of their liberation. The... the what? I don't know how it is where you live, but here when you dress in mini skirt and short top, you get hisses or verbal solicitations, so as for women's liberation......... Well, maybe, if I convince myself that the hisses are pledges of respect and admiration, then it all makes sense. However opinions differ on that assumption.
S'habiller court, c'est bien gentil mais encore faut-il avoir un physique qui s'y prête, et quand bien même ce serait le cas, encore faut-il en avoir envie ! Je connais des femmes qui n'aiment pas découvrir leurs jambes parce qu'elles se trouvent grosses, trop âgées ou juste pas assez jolies. J'ai pour ma part renoncé aux jupes au-dessus du genou car sans être spécialement coincée, je trouvais que mes cuisses attiraient trop l'attention, d'autant plus que je n'étais jamais sûre de ce qui se cachait derrière un regard : une admiration libre de toute pensée négative ou plutôt "oh purée celle-là je la retournerais bien contre la photocopieuse".
Dressing short, why not? But first you'll need the body for it, and second you need the confidence and the desire to do so. I know many women who are reluctant to show their legs because they think they're too old, too fat, or just not pretty enough for it. As far as I'm concerned I gave up a few years ago all skirts that didn't go below the knee. Not that I'm particularly uptight, but it's a fact that my milky white thighs were a center of attention and I didn't like it. People were glancing but I didn't know how to interpret it: was it just pure admiration, free from any bad thought, or was it more "hmm if she let me, I'd do her on the bosses desk"?
At work or on the street, I heard men mostly commenting on the burkini topic, especially when it came to claim that burkini was a symbol of women's oppression... whereas mini skirt was the symbol of their liberation. The... the what? I don't know how it is where you live, but here when you dress in mini skirt and short top, you get hisses or verbal solicitations, so as for women's liberation......... Well, maybe, if I convince myself that the hisses are pledges of respect and admiration, then it all makes sense. However opinions differ on that assumption.
S'habiller court, c'est bien gentil mais encore faut-il avoir un physique qui s'y prête, et quand bien même ce serait le cas, encore faut-il en avoir envie ! Je connais des femmes qui n'aiment pas découvrir leurs jambes parce qu'elles se trouvent grosses, trop âgées ou juste pas assez jolies. J'ai pour ma part renoncé aux jupes au-dessus du genou car sans être spécialement coincée, je trouvais que mes cuisses attiraient trop l'attention, d'autant plus que je n'étais jamais sûre de ce qui se cachait derrière un regard : une admiration libre de toute pensée négative ou plutôt "oh purée celle-là je la retournerais bien contre la photocopieuse".
Dressing short, why not? But first you'll need the body for it, and second you need the confidence and the desire to do so. I know many women who are reluctant to show their legs because they think they're too old, too fat, or just not pretty enough for it. As far as I'm concerned I gave up a few years ago all skirts that didn't go below the knee. Not that I'm particularly uptight, but it's a fact that my milky white thighs were a center of attention and I didn't like it. People were glancing but I didn't know how to interpret it: was it just pure admiration, free from any bad thought, or was it more "hmm if she let me, I'd do her on the bosses desk"?
Le problème de l'apparence vestimentaire me semble difficilement soluble dans notre société car c'est un serpent qui se mord la queue. "Tu me garantis que je peux m'habiller comme je veux et que tu me traiteras comme un/une collègue lambda. Tu regardes mes seins parce que j'ai mis un décolleté. Ton regard me met mal à l'aise et je t'explique pourquoi. Tu me réponds que si je ne veux pas qu'on regarde, je n'ai qu'à porter un col roulé. J'arrête donc les décolletés mais tu trouves ça rétrograde." A ce train-là on ne va pas s'en sortir ! Il faut un minimum de bonne volonté de chaque côté.
This subject can be a real headache and there's no immediate solution. "You assure me I can dress how I want and that you'll treat like any other colleague, male or female. I wear a low-cut blouse and I catch you staring at my boobs. I feel uncomfortable and ask you to look elsewhere. You answer that if I want people to stop looking I'd better put a roll-neck. So I start wearing roll-necks and you complain that I'm a cave-woman." Come on! We'll never go anywhere without a hint of positive attitude on each side of the bargain.
This subject can be a real headache and there's no immediate solution. "You assure me I can dress how I want and that you'll treat like any other colleague, male or female. I wear a low-cut blouse and I catch you staring at my boobs. I feel uncomfortable and ask you to look elsewhere. You answer that if I want people to stop looking I'd better put a roll-neck. So I start wearing roll-necks and you complain that I'm a cave-woman." Come on! We'll never go anywhere without a hint of positive attitude on each side of the bargain.
Mais il est vrai qu'au travers de la levée de boucliers de certains amis au sujet du burkini, j'ai décelé une crainte inavouée que les Françaises ne décident soudainement de porter des vêtements plus longs et qu'il y ait moins de peau à savourer du regard. Mais je me suis bien gardée de le souligner parce que dans mon environnement de travail, ceux qui se déclarent les plus fervents défenseurs des femmes et de leurs droits sont aussi ceux qui multiplient voire superposent les conquêtes ! Alors attention aux raccourcis quand on commence à raisonner à partir de "symboles" !
Although some of my friends really argued passionately about burkini, I soon started to discern another issue, a more frightening one: and if French girls suddenly decided all at once to wear longer clothes? Would there still be a parcel of soft and glamorous skin left to look at? Of course, I kept my assumptions to myself as in my work environment; I noticed that the men who claim to be devoted guardians of women's rights are usually the first ones to rack up notches on their bedpost. However I wanted to highlight that one has to be careful when using strong words like "symbols".
Cela me rappelle un épisode de La Petite Mosquée dans la Prairie, la série canadienne sortie entre 2007 et 2012 dont j'ai déjà parlé sur ce blog (ici). Fatima, la sympathique restauratrice d'origine nigériane, s'est tordu le genou en glissant derrière le comptoir. Rayyan, son amie médecin, lui prescrit des séances d'aquagym pour le rééduquer et l'accompagne à la première séance. Horreur ! Le groupe est constitué de femmes, mais le maître nageur est un homme - un gros stéréotype gay au demeurant. Rayyan, féministe convaincue et fervente croyante, décide de remuer ciel et terre pour obtenir l'embauche d'un maître nageur féminin pour le cours d'aquagym, car il n'agit plus à ce moment-là du genou de Fatima, mais de celui de la communauté musulmane toute entière ! Elle se heurte cependant à l'opinion publique, à des problèmes budgétaires et un conflit d'intérêt dans l'entourage du maire finit par faire avorter l'initiative. Fatima se retrouve alors dans l'obligation de porter le burkini pour pouvoir nager, et la réflexion d'une dame âgée du groupe d'aquagym lorsqu'elle s'approche du bassin est formidable : "Oh ! Je me demande où elle a trouvé ça ! Voilà qui couvrirait très bien ma cellulite !" Revendications ou pas, visiblement chacun voit midi à sa porte !
I remember an episode from season 1 of Little Mosque on the Prairie (Swimming Upstream), a Canadian TV show broadcasted from 2007 to 2012, which I already talked about on this blog (here in French - translation in English to come). Fatima, the sympathetic Nigerian restaurant owner, has hurt her knee when slipping behind the counter. Her friend Rayyan, a doctor, gives her a prescription for aqua gym sessions and joins her to the first one. But when they get there - how dreadful! - they discover that the swimming instructor is a man. Even if he's so openly gay that he's feeding the stereotype, still he's a man and they can't show up in swimming suit in front of him. As a Muslim feminist, Rayyan starts a petition for hiring a female life guard: at that point, it's not about Fatima's knee, "it's about the knee of the entire Muslim world"! She fails eventually because of budget issues and bad press, but above all because of a conflict of interest in the mayor's office, so Fatima decides to go back to the aqua gym sessions wearing a burkini. One of the older ladies there expresses her surprise in a way I found really amazing: "Oh I wonder where she got that: it would totally cover my cellulite!" Well... revendications or not, it seems that everyone is firstly looking out for oneself!
J'aimerais conclure avec une anecdote. Je suis tout à fait d'accord avec la nécessité de se conformer aux règles du pays dans lequel on se trouve ; je n'ai eu aucun problème à me baigner toute habillée dans certaines régions d'Oman dans la mesure où les femmes locales elles-mêmes se baignent toutes drapées de noir. Et quand bien même les Omanais se seraient montrés trop polis pour me rappeler à l'ordre, il ne pouvait en être autrement : j'étais une invitée sur une terre étrangère et - traitez moi de vieux jeu si ça vous chante - à ma petite échelle je représentais la France. Impensable donc de me faire remarquer par une tenue outrageuse. En revanche, lorsque plus tard je me suis retrouvée sur la plage privée d'un hôtel entourée d'Occidentaux en maillots de bain et bikinis, j'aurais dû être à l'aise. Et bien non ! J'étais terriblement gênée car en marge des lézards qui profitaient du beau soleil du Golfe, il y avait aussi des familles du coin venant se promener ou déjeuner à l'hôtel. Le contraste entre les lézards à demi nus et les Omanais(e)s couvert(e)s de la tête aux pieds était trop fort et pour être franche, je n'ai pas aimé cet endroit, pourtant paradisiaque. J'ai déduit de tout cela qu'il est souvent bien plus difficile psychologiquement de se découvrir que de se couvrir ; aussi ne devrions-nous pas juger trop durement les partisans d'un bord ou de l'autre car quand il s'agit de sujets aussi subjectifs que l'apparence ou l'habillement, le consensus est loin d'être évident.
As a conclusion, I'd like to bring up an anecdote. I totally agree with the necessity to comply with the regulations of the country we're visiting or living in; without an hesitation I went swimming fully dresses in some parts of Oman, as local women were doing that way, even if I knew that most Omanis would have been too polite to call me to order. For me swimming in bathing suit was simply not an option: I was a guest in a host country and somehow I represented France abroad. No way would I become the center of attention by wearing inappropriate clothes. On the contrary, when I visited the private beach of a business hotel, I went outside amongst many Western girls in bikini and I should logically have felt more comfortable. Well, believe me or not, but I didn't. On the contrary, I was terribly uncomfortable because close to the Western lizards enjoying the beautiful sun of the Gulf, there were also Omani families coming for lunch or leisure. The contrast between these two opposite crowds was too large for me, and although the place was paradisiacal I didn't really like it. I concluded from these two experiences, that it may be much easier psychologically to dress longer than shorter; so I think we shouldn't be too harsh on people promoting one side or the other: when it comes to topic as subjective as appearance or dressing, it's difficult to find a compromise.
As a conclusion, I'd like to bring up an anecdote. I totally agree with the necessity to comply with the regulations of the country we're visiting or living in; without an hesitation I went swimming fully dresses in some parts of Oman, as local women were doing that way, even if I knew that most Omanis would have been too polite to call me to order. For me swimming in bathing suit was simply not an option: I was a guest in a host country and somehow I represented France abroad. No way would I become the center of attention by wearing inappropriate clothes. On the contrary, when I visited the private beach of a business hotel, I went outside amongst many Western girls in bikini and I should logically have felt more comfortable. Well, believe me or not, but I didn't. On the contrary, I was terribly uncomfortable because close to the Western lizards enjoying the beautiful sun of the Gulf, there were also Omani families coming for lunch or leisure. The contrast between these two opposite crowds was too large for me, and although the place was paradisiacal I didn't really like it. I concluded from these two experiences, that it may be much easier psychologically to dress longer than shorter; so I think we shouldn't be too harsh on people promoting one side or the other: when it comes to topic as subjective as appearance or dressing, it's difficult to find a compromise.
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